Posts
>> Sunday, 11 January 2009
Hi blog!
having had a roller coaster year (2008)....I want to catch up on the lost time.....Apart from a few tormenting issues with my parents' health and mine, nothing much has changed....Just that I have started to be more conscious about my talkativeness, or so I think...
My weight though, has kept me company all through ..lolz.....i guess it is high time i stopped even trying to loose those "extra" kilos..
Its with me for keeps. 2008 had another event happening in my life......I graduated from UIS with my MS in MIS.....But I guess appa and amma kept me busy mentally and emotionally....We have had our differences, fights, tear jerking dialogue baazeez......but this time it was different......the scare of loosing them shook me beyond what I could imagine......having struggled with appaz health, financial issues, and a lot of other things......amma has another major battle ahead.....I can only pray and hope that God has some thing nice in store......ITz HIGH TIME!....
All this and more......has held me from letting me enjoy the fact that I finished my LONG Pending MS (Phew 7 years....2001-2008)...I have always known ...these things dont really matter.....winning an loosing dont matter at all.it is ur mental state on the victory or the loss which counts and will matter to you...so what everyone else judges deosnt really matter.....I wish i could translate this view of mine to other important components of my being......so that i wouldnt let others hurt me as they do now.....
2008 sure zoomed past in a jiffy.......waqt accha ho ya bura......ek din tho sirf 24 gante ka hotha hai .hai na!........to quote a very old saying....Its all in the mind as they say....it is my thought process which puts me thru hell or heaven...knowing this....being emotional hurts me a lot.......I have always let otehrs rule my life, my happiness...and it hurts even more to realise that i have always been the process of growing out of it ...and failed miserably......i value everyone more than I should......and the other person who so ever it might be.....carez a damn about me.......more on this later......
To start my new year, i invested in a much research area.....Cookware.......yes, srinath and I bought a four "barthan" set of tri-ply clad cookware...this was to reduce my cooking time and conserve my energy and of the utility aspect in the apartment!
Another interesting angle to this is that I joined the home shopping wives club..heheeh........a major change from what i was earlier...counting cents seems to be gone thing ....I sure hate this part of me.......seems like i am taking the dude for granted.......I should be more conscious........and be the good old sudha who knows what each cent means......I loved the way I was.....knew my limits and yet happy with the way i lived......Stingy is the word according to others........To state just one....I had a budget for the petrol i put in my scooty, and when i crossed the weekly limit.......i used to restrict my trips on the dear one!....and I am surely proud of how i managed my money or the lack of it ...:)....seriously speaking i m fine and happy even when i dot have money the only thing i am scared of is to have to pay medical bills and not have money for that........i am really happy that the person who is the center of my world also feels and thinks the same way.........i m definitely blessed for all the Wrongs I have in my life.......so no complaints.......the only thing being.......that i would love to be able to walk on my own......get up without support.......and having struggled the last decade with such issues.......i may loose the need to get well too..It is becoming a way of life.....no no...I am not passing any depressig comments......u just learn to live with it with time!....(will let surely let out my steam on what happened..but abhi nahi..)
Another milestone this January is the completion of five years of bliss with the dude!.........He is a simple guy with a lot of love in his heart and smile on his face........cant trade anything in this world for what I have........i surely believe in " not getting something u want is always a wonderful stroke of luck!"
